离开的第三天

今天是离开的第三天也是上班第一天。

我看见老人家，突然想起了他。很多老人家，好像每个都是他。

感觉……酸痛、以为是、期待、恐怖……

我好后悔，也无助，因为已没有机会了。

脑海里浮现他的回忆，甜美带酸。

好像在听到他的声音。

外公过世了

外公过身了。

星期日，傍晚七时。

我的手提电话响，是表弟的来电，我接了。

我听见婆婆的声音，她告诉我说“快点回家乡，因为公公不能了”。我呆了会儿，我说“好”。之后，我就接到妈妈传给我的短讯，“急事，请回电”。我呼叫，然后就回去了。

途中，有好多东西在我的脑海不断地重复。我不敢去多想，也不想去理会。我知道逃避不是解决的方法，但是我无选择。很快地到达了家，然后就去冲凉。收拾了几件衣服就开车同和爸爸一起回家乡。

回家乡的途中，都如什么事也没发生。

回到家后，我很害怕，我害怕面对，我不能接受事实。我慢慢的走进屋里，看见公公躺在床上，心很酸疼。我做不了什么。他躺在病床上，更瘦了，瘦得……让人见到心就揪住。

我说：“公公，公公，我回来了”。我看见他一口一口的呼吸，不能说话的样子。这一幕幕的场景， 只让我的心痛更痛，痛进心里。我们不断地说话给他听，看见他的嘴巴，好像说了些东西，可是却听不到。看见他的眼睛有泪光，他不舍得，我们也是。

我抵达家乡是十一点十五分(11:15pm)左右，半个小时之后他就离世了。十一点四十分(11:40pm)左右，他的一口一口的呼吸停顿了。在他断气的之前，他上身颤抖了一会儿和大大呼吸。看见他第一次和第二次做完之后，就断气了。

婆婆、他的儿子女儿、孙（表弟）和外孙（我），一起送他最后的路程。两个孙（表哥、表姐），还在巴士上从新加坡回着来。

从此这一刻，一切会改变。

然后，我们就开始准备工作为公公整理房间等等工作。

It's time to say goodbye. I'm so upset, because i should have done more than I could provide, I should be visit you more frequent as possible, should get the foods that you like and could get from your place.

I remember the day you brought me together with you to rubber plantation to help you, catch cockroach to feed the birds, catch birds, went to lake side gathered water into the bucket where house has no water.

You asked me help you, I alway did. We did things together, I hope we remember these as part of our journey and memory, and time we spent together. I will never forget all we had gone through.

You are hardworking, patient, loving and soft-spoken. Love everyone. You never beaten me, that is something very special about you. You collected many memories in your room. You appreciate every single things we gave and I can see from happy face. I felt very warmed when i saw it. But I never really give you something that even such a little things to make you happy. A little that i gave, i know is not enough for so many years.

You alway told me, don't waste. Things are valueless, you still keep it like a treasure. And now, i know what it mean. I miss a point and i understand now. Just like you, you are something that money can't buy. I should treasure you. Should treat you good. Now you are left, I am so regretted.

From this moment, my life never be the same. I will not forget you because you are someone special to me. You are no.1 in my life.

I hope you found a comfort place, and rest in peace.

Hope will see you in future.